i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
