No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
