You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We left the knife in your bed.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize