In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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