its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im having a threesome with these popsicles
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
