I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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