I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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