Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
