so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
