Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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