We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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