super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
