Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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