plz talk dirty to me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
