so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
