Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize