Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
