my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
