I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
