You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
