More tranny stories later!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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