boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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