i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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