I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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