Tell her she can't have a vagina
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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