I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
