My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Boobs speak an international language.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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