my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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