So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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