Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize