i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
