Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
