Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
