Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
