I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
