On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
