then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
