while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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