We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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