I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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