i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Iโm gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then Iโm gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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