butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
