I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
