There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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