so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
