I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You smell like stripper and shame
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
