god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize