he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
