whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize