The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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