I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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