Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
