She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
one two three fourrrrnication!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
