I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize