she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It's no shave November. This is our time.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
