I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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