belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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