so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
