So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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