i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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