this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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