Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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