Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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