I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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