Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Randomize
