he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Your cock deserves a montage
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
