it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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