what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
