I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
