She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
