Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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