Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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