If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Are we still banned from the library?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize